


bloody hands and broken bones

by LightningRooks



Series: we deserve a soft epilogue, my love [1]
Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012), Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles - All Media Types
Genre: Blood, Broken Bones, Crying, F/M, Feelings Realization, Post "I Monster", They're best friends, after the events of hello clairvoyant, cassandra and splinter raised the turtles together for 10 years, okay so no one asked for this but YALL GOT IT ANYWAY
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 13:45:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9126274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LightningRooks/pseuds/LightningRooks
Summary: he winced as he tried to scrub the blood off his hands, and scraped it out from under his claws. his broken arm throbbed, but he couldn't stop to get it treated. he had to get her blood off her hands."are you okay?" she said, interrupting his thoughts.





	

he stood at the sink, frantically scrubbing his hands, ignoring the nausea that came to him in waves, trying to…trying to…

“hey, are you alright?” cassandra asked, standing in the doorway to the kitchen. she wore a black tank top, and he could see the bandages that were wrapped around her neck and collarbones and down her arms. 

they were covering claw marks- wounds that he had put there. he wanted to throw up.

cassandra walked over to him, clearly alarmed by the looked on his face. “what’s wrong?” she asked gently. 

he let out a hysterical laugh that broke in his throat. “what’s wrong? what’s wrong?” he asked, eyes filling with tears. he moved his right arm far too quickly and was struck with sudden dizziness. everything was swimming around him, and his legs gave out underneath him. 

he was falling, and then he wasn’t. he tried to focus, realizing that cassandra had rushed over and caught him. he felt so strongly that he would throw up - a part of him wanted to, to get rid of the nausea- but his body refused to let him. 

“let’s sit you down,” cassandra said, helping him stand up again.

“no, i have to-” he started, before cassandra lifted his right arm around her shoulder, causing pain to explode behind his eyes. 

he screamed, and tried to move away from her. this made cassandra jump; whether it was from surprise or from fear...he just didn’t know anymore.

“what’s wrong?” she shouted in surprise, and he moved backwards, leaning heavily on the counter with his left arm. 

“my arm,” he said through gritted teeth, eyes squeezed shut. 

“did i break your arm?” she asked, her voice softer but no less panicked. 

“perhaps,” he admitted reluctantly.  

“what the fuck?” she asked. “why didn’t you tell anyone…”

her eyes stopped at his hands, noticing the red covering his claws, then looked at the sink, where the water was still running, and then finally to her stomach. he could see her putting the pieces the together. 

“oh,” she said softly. 

“yes, ‘oh,’” he said, pointedly looking away. cassandra turned away from him and grabbed a large bowl from the cabinet. 

pointing at the table, she said gently but without room for argument, “sit down.” 

with only a little bit of swaying, splinter did as he was told while cassandra filled the bowl with soap and water. mikey burst into the room, clearly alarmed.    


“is everyone okay?” he asked, looking from his mother to his father. splinter was startled by his sudden entrance, but cassandra seemed to have expected it. “i heard sensei screaming,” he added.

“your father neglected to tell anyone that his arm is broken, and i was a bit too rough with it,” cassandra explained, glossing over the fact that splinter was in the middle of a breakdown, and was trying to hold himself together long enough for his son to leave. “please tell donnie that we’ll need him to prepare a splint for your father. and tell the others not to disturb us- we need to talk.”

“you got it mom!” mikey said, giving the two of them a thumbs up before running across the lair to donnie’s lab.

cassandra walked over to sit next to splinter, grabbing a rag on the way and placing the bowl of soapy water on the table. 

she soaked the rag in the water, and then held out her hand. splinter placed his right hand in hers with some difficulty, struggling to keep his breathing calm.

“if i’m being too rough with your arm, let me know?” cassandra said. “i can’t believe you didn’t tell anyone your arm was broken.”

“it’s not that bad,” he mumbled. cassandra stopped at looked at him, her mouth open in an angry sort of shock.

“i’m fairly certain you almost just passed out,” she said, gesturing to the sink where splinter had indeed nearly passed out. she shook her head. “donnie could have had you patched up by now.”

“he was taking care of you!” splinter said, irritated. it was irrational, he knew, to be angry at how concerned she was. but he just couldn’t understand how she could act like he was the only one who had gotten hurt.

“i’m fine!” she fired back, getting riled up. “i’ve been fine for the last fifteen minutes! none of the scratches were particularly bad!”

“what about the one on your stomach?” he demanded.

he could only remember hazy visions of what he had done under the rat king’s control, but one moment he could remember quite clearly was of cassandra stepping in between him and april. 

she’d had her arms spread out wide, and a fierce look in her eyes: not one of hatred, or fear, but of pure determination, but splinter couldn’t stop. he wasn’t in control. he remembers too vividly the sound of his claws ripping through her clothes and skin, and then the smell of blood. 

the entire scene reminded him so much of...so much of tang shen’s death.

_ (claws crashing down he was going to die he was going to die and then he wasn’t her scream her body she took the blow she’s bleeding she’s bleeding she’s bleeding what do i do  _ **_what do i do_ ** _ ) _

except he was the shredder here. he was the monster, the claws, the murderer taking a mother from her children. 

“i’ve been through worse and you know it,” cassandra said curtly.

“you’re dodging the question,” he pressed. 

“i...cauterized the wound, okay?” she said finally, refusing to meet his eyes. he could only stare at her for a few seconds, shocked by her response. 

“you burnt yourself?” he whispered, horrified. “why would you…”

“i had to follow you,” she said, going back to carefully cleaning his hands. “i couldn’t just leave you all alone...i had to get you back.”

something inside splinter broke at her words. he choked out a sob, and brought his good arm up to cover his face as best he could. he sobbed as he remembered how the rat king had used everything against him- had used cassandra, his dearest friend, against him. the rat king had made him think cassandra would, in some way, take his sons away from him. their sons. that once his sons had learned all he could teach them, cassandra would be the only parent they needed. 

and part of him believed that. 

“hey,” cassandra whispered, standing up and enveloping him in a half hug. he nuzzled his head against her neck instinctively. “it’s okay. let it out.”

“he...he said no one would need me. he said i would be all alone,” he whispered through sobs. “and i...i believed him. i was so scared...so scared of being alone again.”

cassandra sighed and held him closer, being so careful of his arm. “the boys will always need you, if not as a sensei then as a  _ father _ ,” she reassured him. “and i need you too. you’re one of my dearest friends- no one could ever replace you.”

he thought of cassandra’s foul mouthed android friend, and didn’t want to ask. he didn't want to need this kind of reassurance, he knew that his family cared for him. but he  _ did _ need it.

“not even paola?” he mumbled so softly that only cassandra could hear it.

“not even paola,” she said, leaning back at looking at him tenderly. “between the boys and myself- hell, even paola...you’ll never have to be alone again. i promise.”

the promise brought more tears to his eyes. he remembered all too well the suffocating silence that threatened to swallow him whole in the months after the loss of tang shen and miwa. he remembered how he felt like the only person in the world, even in new york city. and he remembered how raising the turtles had changed that. how he didn’t feel so alone, even though he was cut off from the rest of the society. and then he’d met cassandra, and she’d been the friend he’d needed. after that had come paola and her cabin, providing him and his boys a place to escape to when they needed it. 

and here cassandra stood, promising him that he would never feel that loneliness again. promising him that his life would forever be as loud, and hectic, and wonderful as it was right now. even with the kraang threat. even with the shredder’s quest for “vengeance.” 

he nodded, unable to speak, a watery smile on his face. cassandra put a hand under his muzzle and leaned over to place a kiss on his forehead. 

“i love you,” cassandra said, sitting back down. 

“i love you too,” he replied, smiling softly. she went back to work on his hands, washing away all the blood as if it had never been there at all. “you are...really okay? you are not…”

“i’m not mad about the scratches, if that's what you're going to ask,” cassandra replied.

“you're sure?” he said softly.

“hey,” cassandra said, looking deep into his eyes, “you scratch me up, i break your arm...we're even, okay?” 

he laughed. he should expect nothing less from cassandra. “okay.”

* * *

 

the rest of the day passed at a comfortable rate, with cassandra sticking close to his side, making sure he was okay. eventually, however, she went back to her apartment and he went to bed. 

which was where he was now, replaying the events of the day. he was trying his best not to brood- cassandra had made him promise not to when she left.

his heart swelled when he thought of cassandra. her promise had done so much to ease his mind...his thoughts drifted to the kiss she had pressed to his forehead and how she had said, “i love you."

yes, he loved her too.

just as he was starting to fall asleep, something finally clicked in his mind. he didn't just love her, he was  _ in love _ with her.  _ romantically _ . his eyes shot open.

oh no. no no no no.

when did this change? when did he develop feelings for cassandra? he didn't feel any different - it just felt like now he had a name for an emotion he wasn't even aware he was feeling. 

what the fuck was he supposed to do about that? ask her on a date? set up a picnic in the sewers? he didn't even know if she loved him romantically too.

what was he thinking- of course she wouldn't love him in that way! he was a giant, mutant rat, and she was a creature of the stars. if she wanted someone, she’d most likely want someone who was from the same planet as her, at the very least.

he sighed. why did he have to have this realization? now it would be all he could think about. 

he thought, for the first time in years, about the kiss cassandra had given him during that first winter. it wasn't a vivid memory, but if he concentrated, he could feel the ghost of her lips pressed against his. he remembered how exhilarated they'd both felt at the time. absentmindedly, he brought a hand up to his lips and traced them with his fingertips. 

_ i want her to kiss me again. _

he closed his eyes tightly. this was pointless. he shouldn’t be thinking like this- it'd only make it awkward when he saw cassandra again. 

* * *

 

cassandra was pacing around her apartment at three in the morning - now that she was older, this was far more unusual than it used to be. 

she'd had a vision. not a bad one, not at all, but it left her confused and filled with anxiety. it left her pacing her apartment at three in morning, it left her drinking whiskey to calm herself down.

she'd dreamt of soft things, sweet things. she'd dreamt of morning kisses and nighttime cuddles. she’d dreamt of nights under the stars, in the middle of grassy plains, with just the two of them around.

she'd dreamt of splinter and herself, together and happy. and she found she wanted these things. she craved the soft touches that she had seen. 

one some level, cassandra knew that the mere existence of a future where she and splinter were together meant that he might have feelings for her beyond friendship as well. but she just couldn't accept it. and she couldn't bring herself to look for the odds either. she was just...so scared. 

what they had now was safe. it was good enough. she would have to be content with what they had, because she didn't want to press him, or make him uncomfortable. she knew, since that very first winter, that he might never get into another relationship. and at the time, she'd felt the same. 

she'd told him she didn’t want something casual, those first few days at her apartment. after dulcie, she'd wanted to fall in love with her best friend.

it seemed like she got her wish.

**Author's Note:**

> OKAY SO THIS IS WAY OUT OF CONTEXT B U T i think you'll be able to get the gist of it? two things to note- it doesn't make sense in my mind to have april be able to evade a ninjistu master at this point in her training, especially since the turtles get wrecked later on, so cassandra fights splinter and steps in front of april. cassandra also has pyrokinesis- something that hasn't quite come up yet in "hello, clairvoyant?" so she literally melts his sword and forces him to fight with his claws. 
> 
> splinter and cassandra have been raising the boys together after the events of "hello, clairvoyant?" and it's planned sequel, "winter in the woods." they're just best friends...for now.


End file.
